SU2C

Did you watch Stand Up to Cancer the other night. I did, and as predicted, I pretty much cried through the whole thing. You'd think after surviving for 18 years, I wouldn't cry any more. But I do! Sometimes I think it's because I'm so grateful to still be able to cry; sometimes I think it's because I feel almost ashamed...so many went through so much worse than I ever did; and sometimes I think it's because I didn't cry much then. Karen was in 1st grade and we didn't even talk to her about it. So I put on the brave face at home. (BTW, that was one of the worst decisions of my life. Later she told she knew and was always afraid I was going to die! Poor kid!) I only cried in the car, going to and from work, or to and from the doctors..or wherever. I carried all my eye make-up with me so I could fix up and no one would know. How many people told me how brave I was! If they only knew.


Here is a film they showed that night that was featured on Nana's Box today.



Rachel talked on her blog today about counting blessings. I count my survival everyday. My ob/gyn at the time told me it will be like an addiction: you'll think of it everyday; even after you've beat it, it'll be in your mind; and it could come back one day when you least expect it. So I do everything I can to keep it away! I hope you do the same!

I'm rambling again, aren't I...